But every Sunday night, my room-mates would go to a nearby video store and rent porn. Really raunchy porn. And though I considered myself open-minded and can credit my university years with giving me a certain confidence in my sexual self, I loathed the Sunday night porn fest. My bedroom was right above the living room and the sounds (EGADS, the sounds!) would float upward, distracting me from reading, homework or whatever else I was trying to do.
But though I hated it, I nonetheless considered it harmless. And continued to throughout my life.
My husband, on the other hand, indulged, though secretly. It wasn't until after D-Day that the extent of his porn "habit" was revealed. And it wasn't until he really examined what messages he got from porn (that women were always sexually available, that they loved it fast and furious, that they were no more than objects to satisfy men) that he could acknowledge just how far along the path to porn addiction he'd ventured.
But it never dawned on me that women could become addicted to porn, too, though I suppose I would have acknowledged it was possible.
A recent video, from a courageous woman whose blog I follow, gives the addiction issue a female face...and a glimmer of hope that we can discuss this candidly.
Do I think all porn is bad? No, I do not.
I think much of it degrades women, but fortunately, not all. And, frankly, it has never really done anything for me...other than provide a source of derision or amusement.
And I think, like anything that removes us from our lives and offers up an intoxicating tonic of empowerment, entitlement and easy access, porn can be dangerous.
What are your thoughts? Do you use porn? Did porn have anything to do with the infidelity in your marriage?
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